The Shinobi's Court
by Damnedest-Creature
Summary: In the village of Konoha one tv show is stirring things up bringing justice back to the devestated masses. The honorable Hokage Tsunade will turn your world upside down in The Shinobi's Court! Anything can happen. Hey...they need the ratings..some Shounen


**Pairings- Lee/Gaa Naru/Sasu Ino/Shik InoSaku/Sasu (blahhh) **

**Indiana Jones...kicks ass**

* * *

Welcome to the hit show that has taken Konoha by storm! The Shinobi's Court, and here she is our star the honorable hokage Tsunade! 

:applause:

The fifth walks into the court room smiling as she holds her bench for dear life trying to balance herself. The stench of alcohol sweeps the room but instead of being appalled the audience finds it the stench of justice.

Today the long disputed ownership of a certain sexy raven haired shinobi will be decided. Oh yes! You know who we're talking about none other than Uchiha Sasuke!

:applause accompanied by girlish shrieks:

A blanket is pulled off the unconscious Sasuke-kun who appears to be chained to the wall. His bare chest lathered in oil and sporting a pair of tight leather pants..leaving nothing to the imagination. (Oh yeah)

The plaintiff today is Yamanaka Ino she claims that Sasuke-kun belongs to her and that the defendant is moving in on her territory. The defendant is Haruno Sakura Sasuke's teammate and friend. She claims that her and Sasuke are in love and that no one especially the plaintiff will come between them. These ladies have been fighting over Sasuke for years and now that they are finally sixteen we all know what their ready for.

Sasuke starts gaining consciousness noticing the cameras and that his hands are bound over his head.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

"It's okay Sasuke-kun! I'll win and take you home...to my place." Sakura smiles licking her lips.

"Hell No! Let me go!"

"I'm sorry Sasuke but you did sign the release papers." Tsunade slurred holding up the alleged papers.

"What! I thought those were for the girl scout cookies I bought!"

"Hah. Like you need to sign release papers for cookies! You should pay more attention instead of angsting yourself to death. Let's begin...Laaadies."

"Someone...Help me!" Sasuke struggles with his chains until he notices Kakashi standing beside him. "Kakashi! Try and pick the locks!"

"Sorry little man. This is good entertainment plus I'm getting paid to stand here as...THE SECURITY GUARD! Man it's good money...you know us Jounin make a modest living teaching you rotten kids. You could at least give back a little bit. Suck it up."

Tsunade yawns motioning for Ino to begin her testimony.

"Okay...well here's how it goes. I liked Sasuke-kun way before Sakura even knew he existed! He...blush gave me his sandwich when my mom forgot to pack me a lunch...and I fell in love!"

Sakura hissed at her former best friend. Tsunade snapping back from her momentary lapse signaled Sakura to begin.

"I have loved Sasuke just as long as Ino but I love him more obviously. I am on his team and talk to him everyday and we fight side by side. We're in love...a gentle shy love that is hard to express sometimes but we're working on it. He just totally felt me up yesterday after training..."

"No I didn't! You tripped me! You lying little Bit..." Kakashi bashes Sasuke on the head to shut him up.

"I even have a picture of us together...it's a bad one but it's filled with our love." Sakura passes the picture to Kakashi who passes it to Tsunade. It's apparent that the heads of Naruto and Kakashi have been cut off just leaving Sakura and Sasuke a ways apart with a headless Naruto in the middle of them.

"See your honor we're in love. Don't let that Ino pig take him away!"

Sasuke catches a glimpse of the picture his jaw dropping.

"You twisted psycho! Holy shit I knew there was something wrong with you! At least my other fan girls are remotely sane! Kill me someone...Kill me now!"

Everyone tries to ignore the whining Sasuke though hearing him speak more than a sentence at a time was amusing. Ino gets her papers together ready to call her first witness. Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Choji walk in feeling very uneasy and not daring to even glance at the mess that was once the great Uchiha Sasuke.

"I only said one witness at a time."

"Choji and Shikamaru count as one witness. There practically joined at the fucking hip."

"I'll allow it...whatever speeds things up."

"Uh...well Ino really likes Sasuke. She talks about him constantly even when we beg her to stop...she even stole one of his shirts and we walked in on her sniffing it.." Shikamaru stopped feeling Ino's icy glare pass over him.

"Ino is smarter than Sakura and prettier...cause she has a normal sized forehead." Ino smiled passing Choji a bag of potato chips behind Shikamaru's back.

"Okay...Sakura your witness...just bring them all out."

Sakura nods as Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Neji, and Aburame Shino walk in.

"If you think Sasuke loves me say nothing."

:silence:

"If you know Ino's a little gold digging whore say nothing."

:silence:

"If you think Tsunade's the most beautiful youthful woman in Konoha say nothing." Sakura smirks hoping flattery could aid her.

:silence...cough:

Tsunade glares around the courtroom finding Jiraiya giving her a little wave.

"Bastard, anyway...I believe I have made my decision. Sasuke now officially belongs to..."

Suddenly the door flies open revealing none other than Uzumaki Naruto...dressed as...oh my Indiana Jones! The whip and everything.

"No one gets to have Sasuke but me!" He yells flying across the audiences heads to get to his chained lover.

Kakashi laughs never noticing how cute Naruto had gotten over the years.

"You know I have that exact costume at ho...NARUTO!"

"I just borrowed it sensei!"

"You can't have Sasuke! We are here to claim him! Plus...you're a boy!" Sakura screamed about ready to beat the crap out of the annoying blond.

"I don't know he seems sincere." Tsunade added intrigued by the turn of events...and a avid yaoi reader. "What do you want Sasuke?"

"Uh...I just want to go home..." He blushed trying not to look Naruto in the eyes. He looked like such an idiot in that get up coming all the way down here to save him..more like claim him. He was just as bad as any other fan girl.

"Okay then...I guess I'll have to assign you a girl if you don't want to go with Mr. Jones here."

"You don't want me to save you?" Naruto lifted the boys chin gently brushing his lips against his.

Tsunade bit her own lip enjoying the glimpse. Jiraiya was taking notes for his next book it seemed that teenage girls were pretty into this boy/boy stuff. Kakashi smirked knowing his costume was doing it's magic...he hoped the boy didn't stretch it. His ass is grass if he stretches it.

"Get off of him Naruto!" Ino yelled jumping over her podium and charging at the boy's as Shikamaru grabs her waist and flings her into his arms.

"I'm sick of your stupid fascination with sasuke! I love you!" Before she could reply his lips were on hers and she forgot what she was going to say anyway.

"Our ratings must be sky rocketing." Tsunade mused raising her feet on top of the bench.

Naruto broke away caressing Sasuke's cheek. "Please."

"Tsunade..I'll...I'll go with Naruto." He smiled.

"NO! You can't...what about us..our love! I'll be all alone." Sakura screamed tears streaming down her face.

"You're not alone." Lee whispered smiling down at Sakura.

"Oh Lee."

"Uh..oh I didn't mean I'll be with you I'm with Gaara."

Gaara walks over wrapping a arm around Lee.

"Haha. Lee was being nice you are gonna be alone...forever..loser."

"I give soul ownership of Uchiha Sasuke to Uzumaki Naruto. Enjoy yourselves." tsunade slammed her gavel onto her bench and the courtroom didn't budge. The drama was just too addicting.

Naruto released Sasuke and with a passionate kiss swung him over his shoulder. Waving goodbye he headed off into the sunset. Everything seemed to be peaceful once again in Konoha..well almost everything.

"NARUTO! Give me back my costume! Naruto! Don't you run from me! Oh hell...if you stretch that! NARUTO!"

Another case solved on The Shinobi's court.


End file.
